Wednesday, December 7, 2011

These small moments...

A few months ago, I started a daily planner where I would record my daily "Moments of Beauty".  I did this with a realization and also to help combat when my sub-accute depression becomes hard to deal with.  I lost the planner and haven't been recording these moments like I meant to.  Months later, I still haven't found it, so this blog will be my back up.

"Moments of Beauty" are those small things in our daily lives that, even for a second, can make life feel worth living.  They are when things, just for a moment, feel right.  Fleeting, yes.  Small, indeed.  But worth noting because there is so much darkness in life and the negative moments linger in us for so much longer, and yet so much less worthy of our time than the moments of beauty that present themselves to us so often... if we would just allow ourselves to see them!

The "Moment of Beauty" that started all of this was when I was driving to work, feeling numb from the sinking I had been experiencing for weeks... or months.  I was behind a construction truck, which had a chain swinging beneath it's back drop door (but not touching the road).  Suddenly, some cherry blossom petals fluttered between my car and the truck, and for a moment I was entranced by how beautiful they were, how the sun was shining, the green grass and trees on either side of the road looking so lush.  I felt peace.  I felt an uplifting and a reprieve.  I felt that it's those moments that really make life beautiful.

From that moment forward, I made a concerted effort to make note of these little experiences, mental at the very least (though writing them down left a stronger memory of them).  And from doing this, I was able to not only stop going further into emotional decline, but to lift out of it, slowly and effectively!

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